


Wanting The Impossible

by BSBLover2538



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Angst, Beaches, Comfort/Angst, Confessions, Day At The Beach, Hiding, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Teasing, Texting, lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 12:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19790806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSBLover2538/pseuds/BSBLover2538
Summary: It had been five months since Howie and Brian had made it out to their special beach, and both men needed it more than ever. They reminisce on their love, while knowing they had limited time together.





	Wanting The Impossible

Brian looked at his wife, who was getting ready to get together with Leigh, so Baylee, James, and Holden could have a playdate together. He thought back to the last time that he and Howie had been together, and he whimpered silently. It had been over five months, and he hadn’t seen the shorter man in over two months, due to them taking a break from making music. 

“Hey, are you doing anything while the kids are having a playdate?” he texted Howie, wondering if he would be willing to go to their special spot, to get some time together. 

“No, why, what were you thinking?” he got back two minutes later, and he smiled softly to himself. 

“Want to meet at our special spot, I need to see you” he bit his lip as he sent the response, hoping that Howie would say yes. 

He put his phone away, and said goodbye to Leighanne and Baylee, promising that he would get out himself, and get some alone time. Leighanne shook her head, and left, after giving Brian a loving kiss. After the door shut, Brian groaned softly, knowing that he was going behind his wife’s back, but he couldn’t help it. He and Howie had something special together, and they wanted to keep it going, despite both being married with children. 

His phone buzzed, and he looked at it, crossing his fingers. He smiled widely, and rushed around to get ready. Howie accepted the invite, and would meet him at their beach. It was private, and they would be secluded from the world. 

Twenty minutes later, he was walking on the sand, looking for his Latin lover. His eyes brightened, as he saw Howie sitting on the beach, looking out over the waves. He sat down behind Howie, and took the older man in his arms, startling him. 

“Hey love” Brian rasped out, as he laid his head on Howie’s shoulder. 

“Hey  Bri , so happy to be back in your arms” Howie whispered out, leaning up to give Brian a searing kiss on the lips, which Brian happily returned. 

“God, I missed this. Miss wrapping my arms around you, as we look out over the ocean, just being with each other, alone, no responsibilities around us. Just being us, like we have always wanted to be” Brian pulled Howie even closer to him, and heard the older man’s whimpers as he nodded softly. 

“Me too my love. I hate that we have to hide this, that we can’t be together, like we want to be. Thankfully we have this spot, where we can be together” Howie sighed, as he laid against Brian’s chest. 

Howie turned around in Brian’s embrace, and looked up at the younger man, before smirking. He grabbed Brian’s face, and tenderly kissed the younger man. Brian responded, melting into the kiss. They continued lightly making out, only little breaths escaping from them, as they got to know each other all over again. 

“Howie....” Brian whimpered out, and the older man pulled away, before going back to laying in Brian’s arms. 

“Tease” Brian pouted, and Howie grinned up at him, doing his signature eye wink at him. 

“You know it love, I love teasing my baby” Howie groaned, as Brian ghosted his hands over Howie’s shirt. 

“You say I’m the tease?” Brian smiled cheekily down at Howie, who rolled his eyes. 

“Do you want me to take you, right now, with all this sand around us?” Howie asked, as Brian shook his head. “That’s what I thought. Let’s just cuddle, and make out, while we still have the time together” Brian nodded his head, and the two moved positions, so they were lying on the blanket facing each other, smiling softly. 

“Can’t believe we have been sneaking around for over 15 years now. What attracted you to me first?” Brian asked Howie, who smiled softly. 

“Your zest for life, the way you were able to crack jokes, and just find the good in the world. But what really got me, was after your surgery. We were all assholes for doing what we did, and you just moved on from it, and still loved us, despite all the bullshit we, and management gave you. That’s when I knew, I needed to be with you” Howie admitted, tracing his hand along Brian’s face, as he spoke. 

“Aw babe, thank you for that. Do you want to know what attracted you to me?” Howie nodded, and Brian grinned softly, loving Howie’s fingers on his face. 

“You were so quiet, but there was something deeper hidden underneath, and I wanted to know what it was. I found someone who loves life, but loves to just observe the world, and take in its beauty. You caused me to slow down, appreciate the finer things in life. I wanted to see what was underneath those layers, and walls” Brian smiled at Howie, as he ran his hand up and down Howie’s side, kissing him gently. 

Howie responded, and the two looked at each other, blue eyes meeting brown, as they sighed, knowing they would have to get home soon. Brian turned around, and Howie wrapped his arms around the younger man, kissing his curls, sighing happily. 

“We cannot go five months without doing this again. I don’t know how we have gone two months without seeing each other” Howie ran a hand through Brian’s curls, tugging gently, the younger man whining softly. 

“Yes baby, I know you love when I tug your hair” Howie cooed, as he threaded his hand through the curly blonde hair, leaning his head down, sniffing deeply, missing the scent of Brian’s shampoo. 

“Howie....” Brian whined, moaning as Howie tugged a little harder on his curls. He groaned loudly, as his phone went off. He looked, and his heart sank. 

“Leighanne is half hour away from being home. We need to get home” both men groaned, and sat up. They looked at the other with sad eyes, hating that they had to part again. 

“Six weeks from today, we are back here. I don’t care what we have going on. I cannot go five months again, that was so beyond painful” Howie looked at Brian, who nodded. 

“I agree completely. Even if it’s not here, but we cannot do five months again. I need this time with you, alone. I don’t care what excuse we have to make” Brian leaned down, and kissed Howie fiercely, knowing they would have to separate. 

“I love you Howard Dwaine Dorough, never ever doubt that” Brian whispered, laying his forehead against Howie’s. 

“And I love you Brian Thomas Littrell, don’t ever doubt that either” Howie whispered back, as the two kissed one last time, before separating. 

Brian helped Howie get the blanket folded back up, and they looked at each other sadly, before sharing a hug, and Brian went back to his car, his heart torn up. He hated that they had to hide all of this, but they knew they couldn’t be together. He made his way back home, and luckily got home before Leighanne and Baylee did. 

“Hey baby, how was the playdate?” Brian asked, as Leighanne came into his office, after Brian had called out that he was there. 

“Good, loved getting to see Leigh and the boys. What did you do?” she asked curiously, and Brian grinned softly. 

“Went out golfing for a bit, before I grabbed some lunch on the way home” Brian lied smoothly, his heart wrenching at the lie he was telling his wife. 

“Good baby, glad you got some time alone, you deserve it” Leighanne kissed Brian gently, before pulling away and going to start dinner. 

As the door closed, Brian threw his head back and sighed. He hated the lying, but knew that he and Howie had to keep everything on the down low. He grinned softly thinking of the older man, before he picked up the guitar, playing  _ All _ _ I Have To Give _ softly, singing along. Two hours later, he sat at dinner with Leighanne and Baylee, his head already thinking about the next time he would get with Howie. Thirty miles away, Howie was with Leigh, James, and Holden, thinking the same thing. Both men knew it was wrong, but they were too deep, to ever let go of what they had together. 


End file.
